Of Moats and Alligators

As stated in my previous post, I recently returned from vacation. It was refreshing to get away, but I come back and discover that our “We need to get rid of caricatures” President has decided that we need to build a moat on our border with Mexico. It will not be an easy task, but at least it should be fairly straight forward from California through Arizona and New Mexico. But when we get to Texas, say El Paso, where Barack Obama gave his speech calling for the creation of a moat, things get tricky. On which side of the Rio Grande do we dig the moat? Was our “most intelligent President ever” even aware, when he gave his speech in El Paso, that we already have a “moat” of sorts along the Texas border? Do we really need to build a new one? Or could we just dredge out the Rio Grande where necessary?

While I wait for clarification from the White House, I think I’ll head over to the Okefenokee Swamp and see if I can catch some alligators. Maybe some of you in the Northeast could check out the New York City sewers. I’ve heard rumors that there are gators wondering around down there.

If only Steve Irwin was still with us. He’d be a natural for this mission. I can almost hear him explaining the difference between an alligator and a crocodile, “If you can see the teeth when the mouth is closed, it’s a crocodile.” And I can imagine him turning to the camera, as the federally funded alligators are dismembering and devouring would be illegal immigrants in the background, “Crikey, you know that hurts. This may seem cruel, but remember, that’s nature’s way.”

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